Here they were. Trying to get some sleep. It was close to 1 AM and the party across the street was still going strong. “Claude, are you awake?” asked Hortense.
“Who can sleep with a full blown Mardi Gra going on over there?” he snorted irritably.
“Yahoo!” hollered a happy reveler as multi-colored fireworks exploded above.
“That’s that drunk from the feed store. He hollers like that when he drops a sack of corn and it flies all over the place. I think he does it because he likes explosions. Thank goodness he doesn’t work at the gas company!” Hortense raved as she pulled on her housecoat.
“Any leftovers in the refrigerator?” asked Claude after sitting up and turning on the light.
“Nothing but some soggy pizza and some buttermilk” Hortense yelled from the bathroom. She lumbered back in there in a few minutes smelling like toothpaste and soap. “Good gracious, Claude, they’re shucking oysters!” she shouted as she peered out the kitchen window.
“No kidding?” noted Claude with interest. Well, he managed to heat up the soggy pizza in the oven and drain half a quart of buttermilk while Hortense lingered at the window, watching and giving a verbal report every few minutes.
“Claude, you won’t believe this! They’re jumping in the pool. And there’s that Ruby Jane who just got a boob job wearing a red bikini. She’s just strutting around like she’s a celebrity because of those things that will drop like bowling balls when she hits fifty.” Hortense whooped as she pushed the window up to hear better.
“Don’t say?” murmured Claude with a mouthful of pizza.
“Hooee! Looka there! Here they come with another keg of beer!” howled Hortense as she wiped off her glasses in order to get a better view. “And I suwannee if that ain’t something cooking on the grill,” she added, sniffing the breeze.
“Smells real good,” commented Claude. He got up from the table and shuffled off into the bedroom. Hortense listened and watched some more. She was not about to give up her front row seat at the most interesting spectacle she’d seen in years.
“Doggone it, Claude! Why’d you have to go back to bed? You’re gonna miss the best part! They’re all skinny-dipping!” She adjusted her chair a little closer to the window.
About that time, Claude appeared in the doorway, grinning slyly. He was all decked out in his Hawaiian shirt and brand new jeans. She looked up and saw him with his new pants and slicked back hair. “Where in the heck are you going?” She demanded.
“To the party!” he replied, “I don’t wanna miss the best part!”
